Greg Bear by Dead Lines (v5)

Author:Dead Lines (v5)
Language: eng
Format: mobi
ISBN: 9780345478344
Publisher: a cognizant original v5 release november 12 2010
Published: 2004-06-01T04:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 22

HE PULLED OFF and parked near the Santa Monica Pier. It was six o’clock; he had three hours until Helen showed up at the house.

Peter rolled down the window and took a deep breath.

The sun was dropping slow and rich over the water, with that special light the coast manages to wear like a silk dress in the evening.

Maybe he should go get an EKG. He had responsibilities after all, and he had been making excuses too long. Besides, this had been an exceptionally hard week. Idly, he removed his black address book from his coat’s breast pocket, turned the pages, searching for old colleagues, those less well placed than Karl, less busy; an old boy’s network for the grumpy, date stale, and unpredictable.

Then, closing his eyes, he folded the book and felt a fresh wave of despair. Face it.

Face what? What was he supposed to face? His failure? He hadn’t started yet; he hadn’t had time to fail. Face up to a lack of confidence? Even in his so-called heyday, Peter had never felt confident beginning film projects.

He could not shake the de-rezzed images of Sascha. On the screen like that for all the world to see, forced to do whatever the world wanted, forever and ever. What if every photo Peter had ever taken, every frame of film he had ever shot, had stolen a bit of an actor’s soul? Would that explain why so many actors and models seemed to fade, to get more and more eccentric and desperate over time?

To become so needy?

Were they ever pushed to the point where they had nothing more to give, nothing left to be sucked away, and the camera knew?

Disgusted at his own imagination—there were thoughts that did not deserve thinking—he buckled up. He was done for the evening. He would get home a little early, fix supper, wait for Helen and Lindsey. Seeing Lindsey again would help.

Peter needed all the help he could get right now.

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